In linguistics code-switching is the concurrent use of more than one language in conversation. Multilinguals - people who speak more than one language - sometimes use elements of multiple languages when conversing with each other. Speakers practice code-switching when they are each fluent in both languages and it is characterized by using each language or linguistic variety in a manner consistent with the syntax (how we construct a sentence) and phonology (how we construct sounds to form words) of each variety or language. (thus ends today's linguistic lesson)
I believe, as many people do, that love is a language that we learn to speak. Like every language it has it's own vocabulary and different accents. Thus the way it is spoken changes with the different people who speak it. Think the difference between French, Italian and American men, or at least the popular notion in modern media of how each group loves or romances. I also think D/s is a language and rather than a different dialect of love like say parent/child vs romantic love, I think D/s is it's own language. Not everyone learns it. Those of us who do and practice it with in a romantic relationship are therefore a type of bilingual.
This is where the code-switching comes in. You see if you lead your life in English and all those around you speak English you do not need to code-switch. If however you speak French at home lets say and English in the world around you, this is when code-switching comes into effect. It is not so much the idea that you speak English in the world and remember to speak French at home as it is using phrases of both in both worlds.
I have noticed we do this with the languages of love and D/s. We do not use the language of love exclusively when in public or around our children and the language of D/s exclusively when we are alone or playing. Rather we practice a form of code-switching, moving in and out of the languages of love and D/s in a natural and seamless way that largely goes unnoticed by those around us. I think this is one of the tools or perhaps adaptations we have developed over the years that allows us to maintain our unique dynamic in a vanilla world.
I was remiss to add I developed this post from a comment I left on a blog in response to this post by Dark Pretty Fun http://darkprettyfun.blogspot.com/2012/02/our-day-to-day-dynamic.html
I was remiss to add I developed this post from a comment I left on a blog in response to this post by Dark Pretty Fun http://darkprettyfun.blogspot.com/2012/02/our-day-to-day-dynamic.html
So - where does one find such a language tutor?
ReplyDeleteI find a language is best learned through total immersion
DeletePimsleur Learn to speak D/s in 12 easy lessons? No?
ReplyDeleteHumor aside, this is the kind of post I absolutely love to read. So original,not the usual blog fare. Very thought provoking. Thank you.
and it is the kind of post I like to write so it works it well ;)
DeleteVery frequently, mouse and I do exactly that. It does go unnoticed and it occurs to me, often it is wordless. A gesture here, an eyebrow raise there; a lingering glance across a room, where she can read my thought. We speak in code sending each other signals. Almost rather like flirting, but we understand the depth of the message our words convey.
ReplyDeleteIt is quite lovely.
Be well my friend,
Omega
I have read that as much as 80% of communication is non verbal
DeleteBeautiful analogy!!
ReplyDeleteAs always, it is a pleasure to read the way you put into writing what is often on our subconscious minds. squirrel and I slip easily from one world to the next, so much so that I often don't know which world I'm in!
ReplyDeleteafter reading this post it seems such poor syntax to say .."wow". :) but there you have it Sir J, I cannot overstate just how much I am enjoying this blog. This particular post makes the language of love, of D/s so utterly clear.
ReplyDeleteIt is romantic, this thing we do. I must echo GG in her plea, where does one find such a tutor?
O, yes. That's so on target, and fascinating. The "code-switching" idea - i grew up in an extended family that would switch from English to Italian mid-sentence, so i know what you mean. Occasionally, someone would mis-step - or mis-switch - and you'd get some odd English construction that didn't quite work.
ReplyDeleteSo i love this analogy. When it's good, it's very much like that. And the occasional missed switch, if you can recognize it for that, is not so serious.
Thank you.
aisha
Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Many thanks.sbobet
ReplyDeleteI believe my Master can relate to this post in multiple ways in terms of your language example as well as the love-D/s switch! This is a very thought-provoking interpretation, Sir J, and another interesting post. Our code-switching can feel a little clunky at times, but we are certainly feeling more and more comfortable adjusting to whatever particular situation we're in at any given moment.
ReplyDeleteHope you're well!
xoxo, Slut